I had never heard of this before, but I discovered it on Laura Pauling’s blog. It’s hosted at Kelly’s Compositions It’s called a blog fest and it is where a bunch of bloggers put up excerpts of their novels.
So this time they are asking for the first page.
So…I give you the first page of one of my novels, a YA fairytale:
THE BUTTON GIRL
A Novel
By Sally Apokedak
Sorrow crouches quietly
at the heart’s door,
awaiting the perfect moment to spring.
~Lawful Atwood III, in the first year of the captivity
Chapter 1
The lantern in Repentance Atwater’s upstretched hand cast a pool of yellow light in the dark cave. Queasy from the smell of blood and sweat, she looked on as the village midwife stooped beside Joy Springside’s sleeping mat.
“Push, now, Joy!” the midwife commanded.
Joy pushed, her face scrunched with the effort.
The baby came finally, all purple-skinned and slick with blood and screaming his protest at the world.
Screaming his protest.
It wasn’t fair! Lantern light splashed up and down as Repentance’s hand shook.
She grimaced as the babe’s squalling bounced off hard stone walls. She should never have agreed to help the midwife when Harmony had taken ill. Now half the village would whisper that Repentance had cursed the birthing and the other half would nod their fog-filled heads in agreement.
She risked a glance at the new mother.
Joy lay on her sweat-soaked mat, her eyes big and questioning, anxious to know what her long labor had produced.
Sorrow and regret. That’s what.
“Bring the lantern over this way, child,” the midwife said. “This one’s as slippery as a catfish and twice as heavy.”
“A boy?” the new mother whispered. Of course she knew. If it had been a girl that happy news would have been declared immediately.
I enjoyed the mystery. How they want girls – usually its boys, so this is great. I’d read on!
There was a lyrical poetry to your first page. It made me want to read the 2nd. Good luck in becoming published, Roland
Great post. That’s a good first page that grabs my attention at once. I’m interested and want to read more.
.-= Dawn Embers´s last blog ..First Page Excerpt =-.
I like this alot; the setting, the sense of impending sorrow and doom. Great job.
.-= sarahjayne smythe´s last blog ..Friday and a Blogfest =-.
Thanks Sarah,
For some reason I can’t comment on your blog. I was going to tell you that I liked your descriptions. You first page is nicely written. But how come all those other people could post over there and I couldn’t? When I hit post comment it just takes me to the top of the comment thread.
Thanks Laura, Roland, and Dawn. I appreciate your kind comments.
From title to the end of page one you give us so much. Tradition and setting and characterisation.
I would happily read on.
.-= Elaine´s last blog ..Kelly Layman’s FIRST PAGE BLOGFEST =-.
Nice beginning and descriptions. I would definitely keep reading.
.-= Charity Bradford´s last blog ..In the Beginning Blogfest =-.
Nice job. I want to know why they aren’t happy that the baby is a boy and why the people will think she cursed the babe. I’m hooked for sure. Thanks for joining in!
Really enjpyed this. Love the twist of girl vs. boy babies. And I definitely wanted to keep reading to find out why!
.-= Tara´s last blog ..First Page Blogfest =-.
I became immersed in the story immediately. I really liked the POV character and her attitude. The disappointment that it was a boy peaked my curiousity and made me want more information.
.-= Catherine A. Winn´s last blog ..First Page Blogfest Entry =-.
Sam’s nonhuman enemies? Marie Laveau is no longer human. And in my New Orleans the very shadows are hungry. Also there are revenants {the truth behind the myth of vampires} and creatures the Apache called Soyoko {evolved raptors} who live in the swamps.
I’m glad you liked my first line and my title picture, too. Hooks are important to snare agents. Thank you again for the kind words. Have a healing weekend, Roland
I like it. I like the writing and the mystery – very well done.
Thank you all for dropping by. I’m having a good time discovering so many writers and reading so many good first pages.
Wow. This drew me right in. I definitely want to read more.
One little point: the comma in the first sentence doesn’t belong; just remove it and you have a good intro.
.-= Bryan Sabol´s last blog ..First Page Blogfest! =-.
Thanks Bryan. I have no idea how I get so many stray commas in my manuscripts always. Often it’s because I edit a line and take out a clause but forget to take out both commas. Not sure what happened in my first line there. I’ve changed it a bazillion times, I’m sure. Thanks for pointing it out and thanks, too, for saying this drew you in.
The last line grabbed my attention – knowing it might be a certain time period (use of midwife), then finding out that the baby is a boy is not good news really stands out!
Catherine
.-= Catherine Misener´s last blog ..My Entry for 1st Page Blogfest =-.
This was great. You did an awesome job of pulling me into the story and making me want to learn more about this world you created. Excellent first page!
I love your title, very catchy! The character names are wonderful! You wrote with great luring and I’m really hooked. A girl wanted rather than a boy? Nice twist and implied history of what this society is about. I love your writing!
Please come by and read my blog fest entry and tell me what you think! ;)