Another note on envy and a sense of calling, because I think the two are related. I believe that when we miss our callings we are more tempted to feel envious of others.
The picture of God as coach, breaks down because the coach does not give the players differing amounts of talent. All he can do is work with the talent they have. God, however, is the one who gives us our abilities.
We All Have Limits
My sister who was born with Down Syndrome (and who died before I was born) was fearfully and wonderfully made and knit together by God himself, but she couldn’t have been a writer no matter how much she might have wanted it. God didn’t equip her for writing. He had different works in mind for her.
I will never be a scientist or a singer. God hasn’t called me or equipped me for those things. I’m glad I realize that, because I think we covet the good things others have when we haven’t yet discovered the good things God wants us to have.
We All Have a Place to Belong
I often tell my children that it doesn’t matter whose womb they were formed in, God patterned them to be a perfect fit for our family.
We all were made with specific strengths and we all have a place to belong. To be free of envy, we need to discover our place and pursue it, because if we pursue what God has called us to, we are guaranteed success. (Success meaning we will find fulfillment in the work, not meaning we will be rich and famous.)
If we constantly push for something we’ve been denied and we see others getting that very thing, we are apt to become envious. The answer is not to badmouth the successful ones, and it’s not to mutter against publishers and agents and the lousy market. The answer is to find the thing that God has equipped us to do. Because God does want us to be happy and successful. He wants to bless us just as much as he’s blessed the successful people we envy.
We often want a different blessing than he wants for us, though. I made a remark in the comments section the other day, saying I thought it was odd that so many feel called to be writers and rock stars and no one feels called to scrub toilets. I think that’s telling. I suspect that most of the people who believe they are called to write, really feel called to be rich and famous. Think about it. If they feel called to write, no one is stopping them. They can write all they want. The reason they are envious and cranky is not that God won’t let them write, but that he won’t give them the sales and recognition they believe they deserve.
Maybe they need to rethink their callings. I know people who feel called to clean toilets. As hard as it for me to understand this, I have several friends who would much rather clean, even the toilets, than write a novel.
I know. But it’s true.
I know people who love to cook but who would feel like they were being punished if they had to write an article on cooking.
I think if we find the thing we were made for, we’ll kiss envy goodbye and say hello to joyful, meaningful work. What do you think? And what happens when something for which we have both love and talent, proves not to be the thing that will make us rich and famous? What happens when the woman that loves to cook decides the fates have called her to be the next Rachael Ray, but she ends up stuck in the kitchen while lesser talents, with nicer hair, maybe, and whiter teeth, get all the camera time?
Great post. God will always bless the fruit of a calling in some way, and it isn’t always a financial blessing. Just because a person feels they are called to write doesn’t mean they will be a career writer. It’s the process, not the outcome that’s important. What if they only reason I am called to write is to become friends with you – a fellow writer? That’s a blessing!
Hmmm…you always have SUCH thoughtful posts, Sally, and then I’m forced to actually do some thinking.
We often speak of certain jobs being a calling…teaching, preaching, nursing, for example. But I wonder if God calls us so specifically? I think perhaps God calls us to serve, and when we find that capacity where we serve best, that is how we serve GOD best and coincidentally, find the joy in our lives.
I know that as a writer, I wanted to give the literary world another Flannery O’Connor. But (as you can probably guess) the world was not ready for Cathy C. O’Connery. Once I started writing the stories that were true to me, the world started to smile and I found that humor is where I served God best. And coincidentally, I found my joy.
Um, I didn’t exactly find financial security. But I’m okay with laughter and joy. :-)
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Suzan, I agree. I have met so many great friends in this writing journey that I will consider myself greatly blessed if I never publish. I really do love to hang with writers. They are some of the most interesting and thoughtful people around and they feel strongly enough to express their opinions, which allows me to interact and to grow.
Cathy, I agree with you, too. We all having the calling to serve. But, as you say when we find where we serve best, that is what brings the joy. I think that bit, “finding where we serve best” is God’s specific calling on our lives. And I am very glad you found your voice and gave in to the humor. A merry heart maketh good medicine. Who doesn’t love to laugh? It makes us feel good, it heals all sorts of ills, and it relieves tension. Beyond that, humor can be, and should be, the spoonful of sugar that helps the, sometimes difficult to swallow, medicine of truth go down.
Sally,
I love this post! I appreciate so much having an authentic, vulnerable group of friends to show me the reality of various callings. “he grass is always greener” when we compare our insides to other’s outsides, I think. I spent the entire decade of my 20s doing what I thought I was supposed to do. Some good memories, for sure. But the last five years have been golden when I have given myself over to who I am uniquely created to be. It is a joy, no matter how simple.
Thanks for commenting. Renee. I love that line about our insides to others’ outsides. That’s a very important thing to remember. I’m glad you are being who you were meant to be. How’s life on the farm? What a great place for the family.