I have an agent! Please bear with me while I shout that out, because it’s such a fun thing to say after chasing the slippery critters for so long. I finally trapped me one.

A ways back I posted a bit about what kind of agent I would sign with. I just read that post over to see if my year-long pursuit of representation caused me to revise my dreams.

I am happy to say I didn’t compromise. I really did hold out for Mr. Darcy. OK, OK, the truth is that I had a couple of opportunities to shack up with agents (and with one publisher) last year, and I hate to admit it, but I did give in to the temptation and jump into one such relationship. As it is with love, so it is with representation, I guess. The fact that the agent wasn’t ready to commit should have tipped me off that we weren’t right for one another. Sure enough, after one revision it was clear that we didn’t share the same ideas on how to whip my child into shape.

The agent pointed to the door, and I heaved a sigh of relief and packed the baby up, thanking God that no lasting harm had been done. (The truth is that the revision made the story better, and I’m thankful for the agent’s time, but in the end she did want me to change the child in ways that I thought would be damaging.)

So there I was again, out on the streets, looking for someone who would love my baby and me.

Umm…that’s probably enough of the creepy marriage and baby analogy. I entered my manuscript in a contest and I don’t want get into the issue of whether it’s wise for mothers to put make-up on their tiny-tots and parade them around in beauty contests.

So I entered a contest at Novel Journey. I was surprised to win. After that I was even more surprised when Gina sent my manuscript to a hitherto unheard of (by me, anyway) management company called Reclaim. I had heard of one of the partners at Reclaim, Rebeca Seitz, and I had heard of the gal offering representation, Jessica Dotta, but I didn’t know they were representing writers. I thought they were doing publicity. So when they asked me to call I was afraid they might be Mr. Collins.

Once I spoke to them, though, I was pretty sure I recognized Mr. Darcy’s voice on the other end of the conference call. Then I went to Rebeca’s blog and to Steve Feldman’s blog, and I liked everything I read. I prayed about it. I asked some people for advice.  And….

Today I signed the contract. I have an agent who edits and who is excited about my book, which was one thing I said I wanted last year. On top of that, this management company comes with a president who is a publicist, and with a CEO who is a filmmaker, which things are beyond what I asked for or imagined. Most important to me, though, is that they are passionate about putting out quality products that are created from a Christian worldview, which just happens to be my passion also.

I’m thanking God I’ve found a home at Pemberley.

This isn’t really my fight. I’m not an agent. I don’t have agent. I don’t have any agent friends.

But in reading comments on Rachelle’s blog a couple of days ago, I found myself in awe of the fellow who thinks he should tell Rachelle what her job is. An agent’s job is whatever she decides it is. Some edit, some don’t. Some hold hands, some don’t. They’re kind of like maids who get to say, “I’ll mop floors, but I won’t do windows.” Agents make up their own job descriptions, and if their clients don’t like the services offered they are free to hire someone else.

People commenting on blogs don’t decide what any particular agent’s job description is. If you aren’t writing the paycheck you don’t get to say what an agent should do with her time.

And it’s not like an agent is in the military and she is never off-duty. Why would anyone care if an agent is on Twitter? (What was he doing on Twitter when he saw her, anyway, if Twitter is so evil?) Some authors are glad their agents blog and tweet. Why? Because the bigger the agent’s platform, the more exposure the client’s book gets. The more popular the agent, the more people see the client’s pretty cover splashed on the blog and the more people read the tweets about the client’s launch party.

I probably wouldn’t have posted on this if it was only one person who thought Rachelle was misusing her time. But no. There were several who thought that an agent’s time would be better spent sending rejections, with reasons, rather than blogging.

I’m baffled. I don’t get why a person would believe that he should set the job description for literary agents that are not representing him.

What am I missing?

I can’t remember ever being irritated by an agent or an editor. Maybe that’s because I’ve never expected them to take time to respond to me. When they don’t reply, I’m getting what I expected and when they do, I’m pleasantly surprised.

So when Rachelle Gardner over on her Rants and Ramblings blog invited her readers to comment on “ways to annoy a writer” I was a little surprised at some of the responses. Several commenters took her question as an invitation to tell ways that agents or editors irritate writers.

I started to leave a long comment on her blog and then realized I’ve never written about this, so I figured I might as well just make it into a blog post. Because I’ve thought about this many times and even argued about it with writer friends.

I look at submitting to agents as if I’m a telemarketer trying to make a sale. Since I feel no need to spend time speaking to telemarketers who call me unsolicited, I don’t expect agents to take time responding to my unsolicited proposals. I am not entitled to a response from strangers I approach trying to hawk my wares.

I know that. So I try to make me queries as easy on the agent as I can. I personalize them and aim them for the right email box so I’m not interrupting agents at home as they sit down to dinner. I try to give them all the info they need in a concise manner so I’m not hogging too much of their time.

Even so, they don’t owe me a response. I’m contacting them unsolicited. I am not entitled to their time.

But what about the ones who request a full? Am I entitled to a response from them? I’ve had some respond with wonderful revision suggestions and I’ve had others ignore me completely. I appreciate the revision suggestions, but the ones who ignore me don’t irritate me. They are not under any obligation to write to me.

Let’s say you call me on the phone and try to sell me a diamond bracelet and I say, “OK I’ll look at a photo. It sounds like a nice bracelet and my mom’s birthday is coming up. So email me a photo.” When I see the photo maybe I decide the bracelet is too gaudy for Mom. Maybe I think you’re asking too much for what you’re offering. Maybe I just saw a puppy at the pound and decided Mom wouldn’t want a bracelet at all, and I should buy her a puppy instead. Maybe I think the bracelet is ugly. Am I obligated to write and tell you why I’ve opted not to buy the bracelet? Am I obligated to write to tell you that I simply don’t want the bracelet?

If I think you’re bracelet is close to perfect and I may want to buy the next one or the next, I’ll take the time to write to you, I’m sure. But I’m not obligated to write. There is no rule of common courtesy that says we are obligated to respond to people who are trying to sell us things we don’t want.

We all seem to look at things differently. I once got my query letter returned in my SASE with a message scrawled in the corner saying, “Thanks for the kind words, but this is not for me.” I thought, “That was kind of him to take the time to write with his pen and to send the rejection to me.” A writer commenting on Rachelle’s blog was irritated by a scrawl in the corner of the query letter and thought the agent was not being respectful. I can’t see it. The fact that the agent takes time to respond at all means he does respect the writer.

I can’t see how taking time to tell a writer, “This is not for me,” can be interpreted as, “I don’t respect you.”

I think there is one time an agent owes a response. If he asks for an exclusive and he says he’ll get back by such and such a date, he should get back. If he doesn’t, I still wouldn’t be irritated. I’d just go ahead and consider the exclusive deal over and I’d query the next fellow. But I do think if an agent says he’ll get back to you by a certain date, he should keep his word.

Other than that…I just don’t see a time when people who don’t even know us are required to spend time answering our emails.

write on con started today.

The site went down pretty quickly.

I’ve found the conference moved to http://lisa-laura.blogspot.com/

Lots of really great stuff! I’m loving it!

Some links for you today:

Over at Books and Such Literary, Wendy Lawton is doing a fun and informative series on Worst Case Scenarios.

So far this week she has done:

• • • • Query Silence
      • No Platform
      • Genre Fail